The Palmetto State

Last week I went to South Carolina to visit a friend from law school. His wardrobe includes bow ties, Croakies, suspenders, and boat shoes. I like everything that is on that list.

Annoyingly, I had to fly from Grand Rapids to Detroit to Charlotte. Flying from Grand Rapids to Detroit is obviously a super great use of my time and the world's nonrenewable resources. (Is "nonrenewable resources" applicable here? I'm trying to sound like I know something about science. Just call me Bill Nye.)

Anyway, the Detroit plane was seriously delayed. Like 2.5 hours delayed. But I fancy myself a great traveler and I made the best of it. I busted out a book that my good girlfriend had lent me and dove in.

What book, you ask?

Don't tell Grandma Johnson. Actually, don't tell GRANDPA Johnson.

You guys, I know. I'm embarrassing. But look at that great yellow purse on the floor. She's a beaut, Clark. (By the way, this book is totally demented. I'm grossed out with myself for reading it. The second one isn't nearly as difficult to justify, since it's a trilogy and by God I've got to finish what I started.)

I eventually got to SC. It was super late. I fell into a mini coma and awoke the next morning, fresh as a daisy.

That's a lie. I got no sleep and SC is BRUTALLY hot and humid, but I'm trying to have a positive attitude. 

My tour guide was horrified that I had never been to a Waffle House. I had to remind him that, as a Yankee (yes, they actually use the word "Yankee" to refer to people who live in the North) I've rarely ever SEEN a Waffle House. The next morning we went there. I ate this.

On the left is a waffle. I know, good thing I have an education worth 150k, right? It has chocolate chips and peanut butter chips on it. I really do like a sweet breakfast.

On the right are hashbrowns with jalapenos. After I made my order I was informed that my chosen combination was disgusting and I should be ashamed of myself. In looking back, that's fair enough. This is a totally gross combination. I was nervous, I was in the South and was scared that my sassiness was going to get me smacked, and I hadn't had any coffee because apparently there are still people in the world who don't have a coffee pot in their house. Those reasons I offer in my own defense.

The Waffle House employees were lovely. They were tickled that it was my first visit and they gave me a hat. I liked that you can sit right up at the counter and watch them prepare your food. Right before we left, two ladies came in to pick up a to-go order and began speaking French to each other. I immediately started listening to their conversation and was two seconds from jumping in.

I like attention.