Heartburn City

There comes a day in everyone's life when you're going to eat something that you're not necessarily proud of. I don't care if you've been to Le Cirque, you've eaten your way through Paris, and you've gone to Scotland mainly for the sole purpose of eating lunch. There will come a day when you forget all of that, and I only hope that you enjoy your ill-gotten calories as much as I did.

For me, this day came last Friday. Ironically, I was on the treadmill when I decided what I was going to have for dinner that night. I've gotta say, it's been a long time since I had a fast-food dinner. On my way home from the gym, I stopped at Wendy's. Well, I didn't really stop, because I decided to go all-in and not even walk into the place. I hit the drive-thru.

Do you know what sent me in the Wendy's direction? Of course you do. It's the only thing that sets Wendy's apart. Behold-

The Frosty. Why else would anyone go to Wendy's? Nobody goes there for the fries. The fries are a supporting act for the Frosty, so you can do this-

Since I also wanted some protein, and since the chicken nuggets are delicious and $1, I got some. Figured I would go whole-hog (and then remind myself of one, as I laid on the couch in a Wendy's coma.)

I mixed ketchup and mayonnaise on the side. I've heard some people call this "California Ketchup." Anyone else? Why do people say this? I call it French-style, because it sounds fancier. Oh yes, I like to be as fancy as possible. That's why I demolished my Frosty with an iced-tea spoon.

Incidentally, when did Wendy's get rid of those yellow waxed paper-like Frosty cups? Those were the best. And this meal was delicious. I'm not going to make it a part of my repertoire, but it was good while it lasted. Now I'm going to go to six hours of hot yoga.